Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rom-com fail...

If you knew me in real life, you'd know three things for sure.  First, I am impossibly clumsy.  I am known for tripping over nothing at all and falling down in the middle of the street at random. 

Second, I crinkle my nose when I laugh.  I like to think it's cute and endearing, but my best friend used to tell me that it makes me look like a werewolf.  So there's that.

And lastly, I am a hopeless romantic.  I just love love. 

From the time I was a little girl, I watched movies like Robin Hood and Ever After and dreamed of the day when I would meet a boy who wanted to sweet me off my feet, plop me on the back of his white horse, and ride me off into the sunset (after he slayed the Sherriff of Nottingham/rescued me from indentured servitude, of course).

Unfortunately, my sweet prince had no idea how to handle a girl who longed for movie moments and grand gestures.  Micah's family, while incredibly loving and giving and wonderful, doesn't express love with words and emotions the way mine always did, so I was an enigma to him.  To be fair, he has come a long way in trying to show me love in the over-the-top way I understand it best (evidenced by this grand gesture). 

But mostly?  I just finally learned that real love isn't a roller coaster.  The Notebook (which, I'll admit, I absolutely adore) teaches us that you must not be in love if your relationship isn't a revolving transition between on-top-of-the-world and bottomless pit.  That you have to overcome some life-defining adversity together to know that you're meant to be. 

Honestly, I just don't buy it.  And, truth be told, I think this misconception is the reason that so many relationships (particularly in Hollywood) are so short-lived. 

I'm certainly not saying relationships don't go through ups and downs.  Micah and I have had our fair share of struggles, and I do think we're stronger because of them.  Nor am I saying that chemistry and passion aren't important.  They totally are, and my drop-dead gorgeous husband still makes my heart go pitter-patter.

(seriously... so handsome)

But I never want to crave drama, and I definitely don't ever want to define my relationship by it.  And the couples that I've known in real life that remind me most of Allie and Noah... aren't couples anymore.  Because they were fire and gasoline, and that much intensity, while exhilarating at first, is too exhausting to endure for the long haul.  (The endless string of failed Bachelor/Bachelorette relationships prove my point precisely.  Yet I still keep watching.  What is wrong with me?!)

This was a lesson that took me years to learn, and I still struggle with it at times.  But we have found our way to a pretty perfect middle ground in which he challenges himself to express his commitment and devotion in my love language, and I do the same for him (nothing says love to Micah more than me taking care of a credit card bill or folding the laundry.  Socks are romantic, right?).  Y'all just make sure and remind me of that the next time Valentine's Day rolls around, would you?


Nichole said...

Oh man, how I can relate! I always love a good gesture and romantic comedies have set the bar that much higher but the drama that comes with it (in these movies) isn't real life either...it ook me ages to realize that (and the better part of my early twenties!), lol

Annabelle said...

It took me quite sometime to realize that I cant expect a movie romance in real life. Ive come to learn that a marriage takes work from both parties. And that it isn't always fun.

P.S. I got my candle and I LOVE it!

Anna said...

I'm a hopeless romantic also!

You make a lot of great points here. :)

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