Shine, Jesus, Shine...

I've been typing and backspacing this sentence for the last ten minutes, trying to say it in a way that's different from me just coming out and telling you all that my uncle Clay has cancer.

But there you have it.

He was diagnosed a little over a month ago, and he put week two of chemo in the books yesterday.  

This cancer stuff is heavy, friends, and my heart keeps breaking for my sweet aunt and uncle.  These two have been a huge part of my life since I was a little girl, begging them to let me come stay the night so we could cook stir fry in their wok.  They've both always gone above and beyond to make an impact in my life and in the lives of everyone around them, and watching them have their world flipped upside down this way has been excruciating.  

But God is already working big things in the midst of their struggle.  The cancer is very treatable, and the prognosis is much better today than it was when they first found the mass that is compressing his aorta and doing damage to his kidney.  

They've both been so faithful and steadfast and so quick to give Him whatever glory can be found in this storm.  Uncle Clay has made "shine, Jesus, shine" his mantra, and he is making himself less so that God can be more -- a true feat given that my uncle is a very tall man. :)

Anyway, I just wanted to solicit your prayers for my sweet family once again.  You are always so faithful in your encouragement, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Alright, Jesus.  Our eyes are on You.  Come on and shine.

New York: Day Three

Remember that time I went to New York with my mom and blogged about the first two days but completely forgot to post about the last one?  Yeah, me either. ;)

In case you've forgotten where we've been so far, go here to read about Day One (Greenwich Village, Chelsea, and the High Line) and here to read about Day Two (9/11 memorial, the financial district, Little Italy/Chinatown, tea at the Plaza, WICKED!).

{Day Three: The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Central Park, and Rockefeller Center} 

The only thing my mom felt really strongly about doing in New York was going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  Art is her thing (though it is definitely not mine), and I wanted to be sure we'd have plenty of time to see everything she wanted to see.  So on our last full day in New York, we got up and had more bagels, and then headed straight to the museum.  I adored the stroll through the upper east side -- the buildings were beautiful (as to be expected), and everything was bright and cheery.

When we got to the steps at the entrance to the Met, I had to stop and snap a touristy picture of Mom.

... and then I did the same thing once we got to the Monet water lily paintings, which were her favorite.

Since I'm not super artsy, most of what we saw was completely lost on me. But I did really love the Van Goghs...

... and the Faberge...

... and the Louis Comfort Tiffany stained glass.

For lunch, Mom grabbed a hot dog and I got a gyro from the street vendors at the Met entrance, and we ate on the steps like true tourists.  There was a live band playing for tips, and we had such a great time soaking up the sunshine and listening to the music.

After lunch, it was time to head to Central Park.  If you're new around here, you probably wouldn't know that strolling through Central Park (again) is the very first item on my 30 Before 30 list.

Crossing it off was so wonderful, as Central Park is one of my favorite places on the planet.  I can't explain why, but it just feels magical to me.  So we spent a lot of time there and covered a lot of ground.

(Belvedere Castle)

Our next stop was St. Patrick's Cathedral, which I had been dreaming of seeing again since my first trip to NYC.  Unfortunately, the entire thing, outside and in, was covered in scaffolding for restoration.  It was such a letdown, especially I had been telling my mom how beautiful it was.  But we saw it, scaffolding and all, and it worked out perfectly because our roundabout trek there ended up taking us through some fun, little, quiet places.

(Grand Central Station)

(Taking a much needed Starbucks break)

Plus, as we were headed back down 5th Avenue, we spotted the signs directing tourists to the Observation Deck at the top of Rockefeller Center.  This was something I had put on our "hope we can do while we're in NY" list, and we had the time, so we decided to go up.

I'm not sure why I envisioned that we'd just hop on an elevator at our leisure and head straight to the top of one of the tallest buildings in New York without a hitch, but I highly underestimated what a tourist trap the whole thing was.  First, we waited in line to buy tickets (for a certain time, which meant we had to sit around and kill time for 20 minutes).  Then, we waited in line to go up a couple of floors to the real line, where we sat for about 45 minutes, zigzagging through various videos about NBC and Rockefeller Center.  Then, just as we got to the front of the line to head up the elevator to the top, two guides came out and told us that they'd be issuing refunds for everyone because the visibility from the top was down to nothing because of the rain but that we could still go up anyway if we wanted to.

Awesome.

Since we were leaving the next morning, I told my mom that I wanted to go ahead and go up.  Because why not?

So we did.

And it was totally worth it.

Granted, we had to elbow our way to a window so we could get a peek (the majority of the "deck" was enclosed, and the rain made going outside unpleasant (although I did it!).  But whatever.  It was amazing to see the city from this perspective.  (My mom probably doesn't agree since she's afraid of heights, but she was such a good sport about it anyway.)

After the Rockefeller Center debacle, we were seriously spent.  We headed back to the hotel for a final afternoon nap (glorious, by the way).  For dinner, I had hoped we could score a last-minute reservation somewhere delicious, so I surveyed my Facebook friends for a recommendation.  Unfortunately, everything that was suggested was booked, so we ended up at a casual (but LOUD) Thai place by our hotel.  It was good, but not great.  But the fabulous company made up for the mediocre food. :)

After the utter failure at Times Square the night before, we had planned on going back so that my Mom could see it all a little better.  But she looked at me during dinner and just said, "I wouldn't be sad if we just went back to the hotel and had a quiet night in, but I'll go back if you want to!"  I had never heard more beautiful words in my life, so we packed it up, hightailed it back to the hotel, and fell asleep almost as soon as our heads hit the pillow.

As we were getting all of our stuff gathered to head to the airport the next morning, I started feeling all sappy about what a blessing it was to have been able to spend so much uninterrupted time with my sweet mom.  It had been a long time since we had traveled together, and I had forgotten how much fun we have.

I love you so much, Mom, and this trip meant the world to me.  Thanks so much for coming along and for making such incredible memories with me.  I can't wait to go back in ten years with Gracie and show her the magic of our New York.

A circle of love...

My mom—she is beautiful.

She is patient.

She is selfless.

She works hard.  (Really hard.)

She forgives.

She perseveres.

She is kind.

She believes in the good in others.

She adores her family.

She cooks with love.

She is strong.

She has shown me how to be a mother.  The best kind of mother.  Because I watched her strive for years to show my brother and me how to be ourselves, reach for the stars (while keeping our feet on the ground), stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, dance to the beat of our own drums, and love with reckless abandon.  She worked full time, but she spent every bit of her free time being with us.  Cooking for us.  Reading to us.  Loving us.  

As we grew up, I watched her slowly and deliberately pull her hands away from the backs of our bicycles, letting us pedal our little feet as fast as we could, while always being there to pick us back up when we fell.  She stood back and watched us shine, giving us the freedom we needed to become who we are now.

It would have been so much easier for her if she had just stirred the chocolate chips in herself.  And sounded out every word for us.  And told us what decisions we should make and how to make them.  It must have taken a whole lot of restraint (and prayer) to let us try for ourselves so that we could learn what we are capable of.

Here I am now with a little girl of my own.  Learning what a difficult and incredible and beautiful thing it is to be a mother.  Learning how to let Grace discover what she is capable of.

And I hope I can become a fraction of the mother my mom is.

... a hot mess

First, I just want to say how much I appreciate all of your kind words and sweet thoughts about my Mimi.  Even after several years of being a part of this incredible blogging community, you all still manage to blow me away with your outpouring of love and support when I need it most.  It really is incredible.

I'm doing as well as can be expected. We knew it was coming, and I am really thankful that I got the chance to say goodbye, with no regrets.  She will be very missed, but I carry her with me in so many ways.  She was the kind of woman who made an impact and an impression. :)

Understandably, we mostly stuck around the house this weekend.  I did go see Divergent (for the second time... I'm so cool, y'all) with my sister-in-law.  It was as good as the first time, and we had fun spending some much-needed quality time together.  Plus, we had popcorn.  And mozzarella sticks.  And Junior Mints.  In my opinion, it's not a movie theater experience unless I have Junior Mints. (For the record, it was a cheat meal... I'm not regularly inhaling Junior Mints, I promise.)

Gracie has cut three teeth in the last week and a half, and she is not happy about it.

She has basically whined and screamed for four days straight, and I'm definitely ready to put this teething business behind us.

And in case you were wondering about the adorable leggings Grace is wearing...



I got them from here.  I've bought quite a bit from Chelsea (she also has an Instagram resale shop @kickinlegscloset), and I'm always pleased with what I purchase.  She makes these hand-painted leggings, and I just think they're adorable.  The little kitties... I die.

I'm contemplating doing a link-up post for everyone to share their favorite Etsy shops.  We could do baby/toddler themed, or just leave it wide open.  Would anyone be interested in that?  I just always LOVE ordering handmade/small business when I can, but I do appreciate referrals from people who can vouch for quality.

Last, but not least... if you've been around these parts for awhile, you may remember the time where I basically made Pioneer Woman's food for each and every meal (i.e. all of law school).  One of my all-time favorites is a recipe she featured (but didn't create) called Butter Chicken.  It's not as unhealthy as it sounds (only half a stick of butter - ha!), and it's apparently a well-known Indian dish.  Anyway, it's delectable, and we had it for dinner last night.

(It probably doesn't look very appetizing, but I'm telling you... it's money.)

So that's life for us right now.  I'm currently working from home today (or apparently blogging from home) because I've worked nearly every day for MONTHS, and I needed a mental break.  And some time to do some life stuff (like cleaning out Gracie's closet... I finally packed up all of her swaddling blankets and 6-9 month clothes and was on the verge of bawling) plus pick up some stuff for her birthday party.

Mostly, I'm a hot mess right now, you guys.  Bear with me...

Saying goodbye...

The thing is, she was a difficult woman to love, my Mimi.

She was opinionated, stubborn, selfish at times, and often said things I know she wished she could take back.

But at her core, she was a true and devoted Christ-follower, vibrant, witty, intelligent, tender-hearted, wise, and fiercely loyal.  She was half-Portuguese and louder than each of her three sisters, and I would imagine that even at an early age, she made an impression wherever she went.

She had pretty hands and even prettier handwriting.  She loved popcorn-flavored Jelly Bellies.  She drove a green Camaro until she couldn't.  She adored her sisters and satin pajamas.  She raised two strong, loving children and taught much to her four grandchildren.  And after a hard-fought battle with lung cancer, she was ready to go home to be with her Lord.

So this morning she did. 

I will carry my memories of my firecracker of a grandmother with me always.  And I think she would want me to remind each of you that life is too short to live with regrets...

... and that a little sass goes a long way.

Beauty and tears...

The last few days have been filled with such joy... and pain.

The joy is in this little beauty.

Meet Blakely Georgia, y'all.  Niece #2 was born on Friday morning, just before noon.  She's teeny and perfect and cuddly as she could be, and we're all enamored.  Faith's labor went super smoothly and QUICKLY—they started the pitocin around 8:30, and Faith was pushing two and a half hours later!  Mom and baby are doing great, and I think big sister Stella is adjusting well, too. 

But even as my family revels in the wonder and beauty of a new, little life, we're also reminded of the inevitability of death.

My Mimi is very, very sick, friends.  The lung cancer has been rapidly making its way through her bones, and now it has spread to her brain.  I've been trying to write about Mimi for months now.  I've been trying to tell you all how confusing it has been and how heart-wrenching is it to see my firecracker of a grandmother in so much pain.  But the words never seemed adequate, and so I just couldn't write them.  

Now I'll just shamelessly solicit your prayers.  Mimi had a massive seizure on Friday (which led to the CT scan that revealed the lesions on her brain), and she's currently in the ICU, hopefully getting strong enough to head to hospice at some point.

There's no question that my Lord is big and powerful enough to take it all away.  But I also believe that He may intend to give her peace and bring her home with Him.  So I just seek His will, whatever it may be.  Wherever He leads, I'll go.  

One more chapter... or not.

via

... or two-thirty in the morning, to be more precise.  And usually I'm mad when I do this, but I'll sport the dark circles and my pitiful, still-wet top knot with joy today because Ender's Game was totally worth it.  I plopped in the bath tub at 9:00 p.m. and didn't get out until 2:45 a.m. (because after I emptied cold water and re-filled the bathtub with hot water approximately ten times before I finished the book, I actually had to take a bath) because I couldn't. put. it. down.  I'm now sort of dead-set on making the movie happen this weekend.

I think I need to take a break from books for a minute.  I clearly can't be trusted with them.

Can we also talk about how I'm going to be made an aunt the third time over sometime tomorrow?  My beautiful, fabulous, red-headed sister-in-law is being induced in the morning, and I seriously canNOT wait to meet my new niece.  I remember with so much fondness the wonder and excitement and LOVE I felt when Stella was born, and I know it'll be the very same with Blakely.  

me and Stella Bella, kicking it like buds the day she was born, image by Lauren Ammerman Photography

Plus, Faith has had crazy heartburn throughout her pregnancy, which totally equals a head full of hair (at least in my experience), and I will unashamedly say that I've got my fingers crossed that it's RED! :)  (But I promise I'll still love you to the moon and back, Blakely, even if it's not!)

So if you've got a spare moment, please lift these girls (and my poor brother - he is about to be officially SO outnumbered!) up in prayer!  I'll love you forever.  Pinkie promise. 

Seven Christmases...

This Christmas was so ridiculously fun, y'all.  Christmas with a baby is just on another level.  Grace obviously doesn't get it yet, but even still... there was something so beautiful about sharing the magic of the Christmas miracle with our little one.

Since most of Micah's and my family live nearby, we do a lot of getting together around the holidays.  It's pretty hectic, but we've figured out a semi-workable schedule... at least for now. 

(If you can make it through to the end of this post, you're a real trooper.)

Number One (Saturday before Christmas):  Christmas with Dad and Lori 
Lots of food, presents for the little ones, and impromptu cell phone pictures in front of the tree.

(Pardon the crappyquality.  Note to self:  this is what you get when you're too lazy to lug your big camera around.)

Number Two (Sunday before Christmas):  Christmas with Dad's extended family 
Poor baby was suuuuper fussy when we first got to my grandparents' house to visit with our very large group of extended family.  She missed her nap and had an ever so slightly dirty diaper that Momma missed when she did a quick check.  Oops!  She was a new woman after a clean diaper...

... some snuggles with PawPaw...

... and a quick nap on Mamaw's bed.

Number Three (Christmas Eve):  Christmas with Mom and Steve

Gracie napped (again) while the rest of us ate Mexican food, played games, and relaxed.

(This is Micah and my brother battling it out over a game of Tenzies.  Such an athletic display of... dice rolling.)

Number Four (Christmas Morning):  Christmas just the three of us 

No matter how crazy the holidays get, we will definitely be guarding this sweet, quiet time together vigilantly.  Micah read the Christmas story, while Gracie and I snuggled.

We made Monkey Bread for breakfast (using this recipe - so amazingly easy and delicious!), and we stayed in our jammies until it was time to get ready to head to the next get-together.

She did enjoy opening the few things we got for her (mostly, she enjoyed shredding the wrapping paper and trying to eat it), and she has been playing with her new toys nonstop. 

Number Five (Christmas Lunch):  Christmas with Micah's family 

(We had to have an outfit change halfway through.  Such a diva... ;))

Our poor nephew had the flu and strep, so Micah's brother's family had to stay home.

Number Six (Christmas Afternoon):  Quick Christmas with Dad's family
We hadn't planned on on making it to my Mamaw's again, but we ended up dropping by for a few minutes.

Gracie had so much fun cruising around this coffee table that has sat in my Mamaw's living room for at least the last thirty years.  It's the very same table that my cousins and I cruised around as babies, and it has the scuffs and bite marks to prove it!

Number Seven (Christmas Evening):  Christmas with Micah's extended family 


By this point, we were pretty worn out. 

(Clearly.  I'm a downright hot mess in this picture, and Gracie's not even in it because she had already crashed in the Pack 'n' Play upstairs.)

But we had a wonderful time visiting with Micah's dad's side of the family.  Such an amazing legacy of love.

So there.  We officially survived our first Christmas as a family of three.  And you (all three of you who managed to stay awake long enough to make it this far) survived this ridiculously long post.  It's a miracle!

Cold...

If you live in a part of the country where you have to deal with actual  inclement weather in the winter, I feel sure you think all of us down here in Texas are total wimps.  Because 'round these parts, we shut the whole metroplex down when there's a teensy bit of ice on the roads.

After I finally got off the plane in Dallas on Thursday afternoon (after delays in both Charleston and on the tarmac in Dallas), I did my best to navigate all the insane drivers who, in anticipation of Iceageddon 2013, had to rush around buying all of the bread and milk and eggs and blankets at rush hour and prolong what had already been a very exhausting trip home.  

But after two hours (my commute is normally 25-30 minutes) I finally made it home just in time to put Gracie to bed (after not seeing her for three whole days, I couldn't get enough of her sweet little face!).  And then we did, indeed, get a dusting of sleet/freezing rain (some parts of the area got a fair amount of snow) and a whole lot of icy roads that night.  So most of the schools and businesses shut down, and my sweet little family had a day of cuddles and PJs.  

Thankfully we didn't lose power like many others did after the poor, wimpy Texas trees buckled under the weight of the ice and knocked down the power lines.  We did miss my firm's Christmas party (which is usually a ridiculously fun spectacle of extravagance), but I really just didn't want to be out on the roads at night.

We mostly just continued the cuddling on Saturday and Sunday, although we did have to venture out for food a few times, which was nice.  I was getting a little stir-crazy...

Oh, and can we talk about what else happened this weekend?

Um, yes.

I sat her down in her crib just for a second while I gathered up her clothes for the day and picked up her room a bit and turned around to this.  I about had a heart attack.  Looks like we will be lowering the crib just as soon as possible...

So things are still unusually cold here, but everything seems to be thawing out for the most part.  Hope you guys are all staying warm and enjoying this incredible time of the year!

A load of cute...

You know how your laundry pile can get so ridiculously high that the thought of trying to make even a tiny dent in it seems impossible?  That's me and this blog right now.

Because things got a little cray last week, and I just couldn't find the time to sit down for two seconds and tell you about it.  So here's the (semi) short version:

-  Grace is six months old and is pretty much sitting up on her own.  I will DEFINITELY have a full six month post soon!  (She's also probably about halfway through her DOC Band adventure!  Girlfriend's head is GROWING!)

 

- My dad was admitted to the hospital early Thursday morning.  He had been having some dizzy spells, and his cardiologist told him to head to the hospital to rule out a stroke/mini-strokes.  Thankfully, his symptoms have gone away, and all the scans were clear for a stroke (although they couldn't rule out a mini-stroke).  So he's going to follow up with his cardiologist this week and try and figure out what the heck is going on.  We'd really appreciate your prayers!

(My brother was such a trooper... he spent the night with Daddy, curled up on the super (sarcasm font) comfy couch with a hospital gown for a blanket.)

- We went out for hibachi on Saturday for Micah's best friend's birthday and had a blast.  

It was so nice to have some time with my cute guy without a certain precious little girl stealing our attention. :)

-  Speaking of our precious little girl...

shirt / leggings

I'm sorry, but how adorable is she?  Her wild little pigtails just crack me up.  I caught her snuggling with Micah on the floor yesterday and just about died.

Ridiculous, right?  

There!  I feel like I've at least folded a few metaphorical towels.  I'll try and tackle the rest of the pile soon. :)

Sweet Stella bella...

My sweet, lovebug of a niece turned two in May.  It completely blows my mind when I think about it, because, to me, she's still this little elf-eared, bald-headed pumpkin.  

She seriously is the most loving child I've ever been around (she often goes up to strangers and hugs them... we may need to have a chat about stranger danger - ha!), and her spirit is infectious.  But she's so darned busy that I can almost never get a picture of her!

I managed to snag this one a few weeks ago, and it just screams Stella Jo to me:  happy, beautiful, and just a little bit wild at heart.  So I played around with different actions in Photoshop Elements...

(Bellavue Avenue's Matte-Licious Actions in Earthy)

(The Coffeeshop Blog's Dandelion Wine)

(The Coffeeshop Blog's Caramel Dreams)

(The Coffeeshop Blog's Buttercream B&W)

She's a doll, and I can't WAIT to see her meet her little sister in a few months. :)