Thursday, October 15, 2009


So I'm actively looking for a job right now. I'm obviously not having a lot of success, but I swear that if I hear the words "in this economy" one more time, I'm going to strangle someone.

For me, it's crystal clear that I'm being led. I can't see where I will end up yet, but I know that God has a plan, and I have every faith that I'm walking down a very particular path. A path that He has determined will lead somewhere.

So I'm going to keep walking. Even if I have no roadmap, and there aren't any street lights.

It's funny because a year ago, I was so confident that I would end up working at a big law firm after graduation, making the big bucks, and working ridiculous hours. And, on paper, it seemed like that would happen for me. I had done very well my first year of law school, I was being actively recruited by countless law firms, and I decided to spend the summer at two great law firms in Dallas.

And this past summer, things were still looking bright, in spite of the fact that the economy had crashed and everyone was panicking. I had gotten great reviews at both firms, had made some good contacts, and knew that I had done enough to deserve a full-time offer of employment at both firms.

Yet here I am, jobless and with no prospects. The firms that were so actively pursuing me last year are full, and even the smaller firms seem hesitant to take a chance on an unknown candidate that didn't spend the summer there. I applied to several judges for a one-year clerking position - something I'd have been a shoe-in for last year. And still nothing.

Panic time, right?

No. I just refuse to stress out about it. I'm convinced I'm being led in a different direction. That my well-intentioned plans weren't what God had in mind for me. I feel peace, even though there's no earthly reason I shouldn't be completely freaking out.

I don't know where I'm headed yet, but I know I'm headed somewhere. I know God hasn't forgotten me, and I know He will provide. I just have to keep walking through the darkness until I see the light.

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