Sunday, August 29, 2010

Good grief...

All in all, I've led a wonderfully happy life. I had a great childhood, wonderful parents, an older brother who only occasionally tortured me (I kid... well, kind of), met the man of my dreams at a very young age, surrounded myself with incredibly loyal friends, and have only occasionally lost people who were close to me.

And when loved ones do go on to be with the Lord, I tend to grieve in waves. Sometimes the waves are small. Manageable. But sometimes they're big enough to knock me down and flip me around under the water.

I wrote a tiny bit about my "honorary" mom here, and my birthday last Sunday marked three years since she has been gone. I don't think there has been a single day that I haven't thought of her in some way, but some days it just really hits me. Last Sunday, it was remembering the words I spoke at her funeral that brought tears to my eyes - remembering feeling like nothing I could say could even begin to capture what a wonderful person she was.

And Micah's sweet grandmother passed away a few months ago. Yesterday was her birthday, and tonight while I was sitting in the bathtub, I just started crying for no reason. I just missed hearing her sweet voice.

But then I thought about it. I really thought about how grief works. Because as I was crying tonight my mind ran through all the good memories I have of Granmargie. I remembered all the stories she told, her selfless service as a missionary in Mexico, and the love she had for her family.

And the same thing happened last Sunday. When I thought of Danna, I thought of her infectious laugh and her strength, and it made me happy to think of what a gift it was to know her while she was here.

So maybe grief isn't some horrible burden to be carried with bitterness. Maybe it's just God's way of allowing us to remember the things we love most about those that we miss. Maybe it's a gift to be treasured so that we don't forget who they were. It's bittersweet, but maybe grief is good after all.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...